Sunday, 22 December 2013

Another Year Almost Over - Part 1

2013 has been perhaps one of the most emotion-filled years of my life so far. It has truly been a rollercoaster with lots of ups-and-downs, spirals and the odd person vomiting behind you. But it has, without doubt, been one of the best years ever! So let's break it down by the month - an overview, if you wish - and delve into action-packed and heart-wrenching 2013.

January
The year opened with a bang. Well, not really; if I remember correctly, I spent New Year's Eve/Day at home with my parents watching TV, so it was hardly a wild opening. Although, I did enjoy such goofs as:
[spoiler - I didn't go, but we'll get to that later]
And it seemed that even this early in the year, I was learning lots of historical things that were totally relevant to my academic studies:

Later on in the month, I wrote a script for Bournemouth University, which resulted in me getting an offer to study Scriptwriting!
At the end of the month, I stayed round my friend Charis's house, which was fun. Many pictures ensued:
And that was pretty much the highlights of January. I also watched a bunch of films and got into more universities, but it's not all that exciting and is difficult to express through the medium of pictures.

February
I began the month attending a Youtube gathering in Southampton, which was absolutely brilliant! I made a video!
I also attended the first ever Upload Tour, and made a video of that too!
I also somehow managed to end up in a relationship for the latter half of the month, although if you don't mind I'd much rather not go into much depth about that; but it's something for you to note anyway.
And that was pretty much February, really. Not all that much happened; I spent most of my time watching Time Team, which I got into during this month.
March
Not much happened at all during this month, if I'm honest. I mainly hid inside when I wasn't triumphing the cold weather. But, I did manage to finish writing my Extended Project at college on sexually active popes, which was quite an accomplishment.
Another accomplishment was that, for the first time in living memory, I attended two parties in one night! The first was my friend's birthday party, of which I attended dressed as the Vicar of Dibley:
The second party was one held by the director of a show at my theatre club and resulted in my dad being the most drunk I'd ever seen him. Hilarity ensued. Unfortunately, I do not have photographic evidence of the second party, but I promise it existed. I do have friends. Honest.

And that's pretty much the highlights of the first three months of 2013. I intend on discussing the rest of the year and posting it on here over the holiday season, so make sure you keep an eye out!

Monday, 29 July 2013

The Aftermath

I have disputably been busy since my last blog post. By that, I mean I completely forgot about the existence of said blog post and instead have been in pursuit of other things.
My last post was about me considering what the hell to do with my life and I was in a bit of a panic about having to grow up and stuff. I'm less freaked out and have instead started considering possible alternatives to university this year. I have decided not to make a final decision about university soon after I receive my results. What has been handy is that my first choice, Bath Spa, does not currently have any spaces in accommodation for me. I sent my application in before the deadline, but, unfortunately, I was subject to the consequences of randomisation. Hopefully, it'll all turn out great in the end. 
On a brighter note, I thought I'd tell you what I've been up to in the past two months. I finished all my exams [I think they went better than I thought they would be], I started watching Supernatural [I've watched the first four seasons], I've been to a few parties,


I went to Cardiff for three days with three of the coolest people ever which was unbelievably great and made me fall back in love with Doctor Who


and I've been watching a lot of documentaries where I've probably learnt more about history than I did in the entirety of primary school. My cat also had a kitten, who is the most adorable little guy ever!

So it's been a pretty good two months. I'm certainly much happier than I was when I last posted on here! 
Not only have I done all these things, but in the past week, I have been doing two things which will hopefully be important later on. The first is that I have been developing a list of places I'd like to visit, primarily in my area. My brothers have been going through a bit of a shaky time, so my mother has started attempting to encourage us out to various places. There are many local places I have never visited or have not visited for many years which I'd like to see so developing a list would be handy for my mother. So far I've written a list of about 80 place I'd like to go. The second thing I've been doing is looking at every single university in the UK listed on Wikipedia to look at possible other university choices for next year [or if I get results better than I expected]. Both have been really productive, and been good fun researching.
So that's what I've mainly been up to recently. Thought it'd be nice to update this little blog with some cheery news. Especially after that last post!

Sunday, 12 May 2013

Revision

As exams are approaching, it's revision season for me. Well, I use the term 'revision' rather loosely. I don't shut myself in my room for 8 hours a day frantically drawing mind maps or practising essays. I sit on my father's laptop, which he has kindly and unknowingly allowed me the frequent use of, and I am typing up all of my class notes from the last year that I should have typed up a long time ago. Yet here I am writing a blog post, less than a month before my exams, with Facebook and Tumblr open in other tabs. That's  right, I'm a procrastinator.
It's something I have always done. During my GCSE exams, I procrastinated by going on Tumblr, as it was my new found love. Last year, during my AS level exams, I procrastinated by reading multiple fictional books, as I had recently gotten back into recreational reading. But this year, I appear to have reached a new height of procrastination. Along with frequent visits to the dashboard of Tumblr [two different Tumblr accounts, now] and the current reading of The Great Gatsby, I appear to have developed a love of Facebook games and jigsaws. Not only this, but I have fallen back in love with history and have been attempting to watch every episode of Time Team since February. Plus, I have started watching Air Crash Investigation again after realising how interesting I find it.
So I haven't really gotten off to the best start. Along with all these distractions, I have been procrastinating by researching my prospective universities, of which I won't even get into if I don't pass my exams. But I can hardly help that I had to make my final decision through UCAS last week and my student finance deadline is at the end of this month. And I have to begin applying for accommodation in the near future. All of this is happening at once, and since I am a female Peter Pan, I've been hiding from my responsibilities through procrastination, my metaphorical Neverland. 
I have attempted to shut myself away in my room in an attempt to concentrate [I say as I have dubstep playing loudly in the background] and it appears to be working to an extent. I finally understand meta ethics, something I never did before. But the more I begin to revise, the more I realise how much I need to remember, the more I panic about how I'm going to fail, the more I think about what I'm going to do if I don't get into university, the more I think about what I'm going to do if I do get into university, the more I feel that I'm too young to do anything but do jigsaws and listen to the High School Musical soundtrack for the hundredth, the more I hide away from everything. 
I appear to be going through a phase of not really knowing what I want to do in life. I want to write things, but I haven't worked out what I want to write. I know that I want to continue learning, but I don't know if I'm ready to grow up and go to university. Can I just continue going to sixth form college for the next six years until I feel like I'm more grown up? Or perhaps even just one more year. I've changed a lot in the past year, so it's likely that I'm going to have changed a lot by next year. So am I really ready to be making decisions about my entire future when I can't even predict how I'm going to be and what I'm going to want to do in a year's time? I'm already considering a third year at college if I don't get into university. But what if I do get into university? I'm not sure I want to anymore. And yet, I want to more than anything. I appear to have juxtaposing emotions right now.
And all this thinking when I should be revising for my 'oh so important' exams.
Or maybe I'll just go on Facebook for a little while longer first...

Sunday, 6 January 2013

My Last Goodbye

I have written a short story for my A level English coursework. The 'briefing' that we received was simply that we had to write a fictional piece of prose which looks at the impact of war on the individual. I decided to choose World War One as it was of particular interest to me. I proceeded to write the following. I hope you enjoy:



The news of his death came as such a shock to me. It was completely unexpected. He had only been away to fight for a couple of months. But what do you expect in the middle of a global war? I suppose I never really knew what to expect. All I knew was that the one and only love of my life was gone. Forever.
When the inevitable telegram arrived, the children were home. I originally felt that the best option was to not tell them for a few days; at least until I could cope with the situation myself without bursting into tears, but I knew I could not. It took me all day to build up the courage to tell Vincent and Emily. Emily was devastated; she would miss her father dearly, but she was always an incredibly independent child and was not particularly reliant on her father. Vincent was truly melancholy; his father was his best friend and they shared everything with each other.
I could not comprehend the simple fact that my husband was gone. We as a family were no longer waiting for his return from battle; he would never return. So much was left unsaid. The words of the short telegram were constantly on repeat in my mind; ‘…Regret to inform you Corporal C G Harrington… killed in action France August 14th.’ Perhaps they sent the telegram to the wrong family. Perhaps they did not realise that there were two people by the name of Corporal C G Harrington. Perhaps my husband Charles was not dead.
I insisted for my children to stay home from school and work for at least a week after we heard the news. Vincent was adamant that he should return to work as he was now the main source of income in our household. I reluctantly agreed and he continued his daily routine throughout the week. I assumed that Vincent wished for some sort of distraction from his father’s death and work was his only possible solution. I craved such a distraction myself, but could not bring myself to leave Emily to fend for herself at home on weekdays. As the first week of mourning reached an end, I was gradually coming to terms with the death of my husband. The children seemed to be coping well, but I could hear Vincent’s muffled whimpers when he pretended to be asleep during the night. I did not know what to do to help my poor child. I had nothing to offer him as he lamented.
On the first Friday after we received the news, when almost a week had gone by, I received a letter. It was written in handwriting which was unfamiliar, yet was quite clearly addressed to me. I was hesitant at first with opening it as I was unsure what the contents of the envelope included. As I tore it open, a faint whiff of earth graced my nostrils; also a faint smell of gunpowder appeared to linger in the air. I assumed that it was from a nobleman from the countryside; it never occurred to me that it was from a warzone. This only dawned on me when I read the letter:
Dear Mrs Harrington,
I am ever so sorry for your loss. Your husband never stopped talking of you and your children. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this dreadful time. I did not know your husband for long, but, in such conditions as our trenches in France, we grew close rather quickly. He trusted me to write to you as soon as he died. He wanted me to inform you of a letter addressed to you. He decided not to entrust a person with it as he feared his words would be lost. He informed me that you should look in his bedside cabinet to find the aforementioned letter.
I know how much you and your family will miss Charles. It has only been a couple of days since I heard the news myself and I am still struggling to come to terms with it. I truly hope you and your family will be alright after such an incident.
May God bless you and your family at this time and always,
Anonymous
I could not believe it. I dropped the letter and hurried upstairs to the master bedroom which was once ours. Charles always slept on the left-hand side of the bed so this supposed letter would logically be found on this side. I opened the cabinet and there was an envelope carefully placed upon his favourite book. I carefully picked it up, treating it as preciously as if it were a china bowl. The envelope was addressed to the children as well as myself, so I kept it hidden until Vincent was home from work. We gathered around the dining room table and, together, opened the envelope to reveal a letter. This is what it read:
Dear Rose, Vincent and Emily,
If you’re reading this, then it means I have regretfully passed away. I hope you are all coping with my absence. I am not sure how long it has been since I left to fight, but I am sure you are probably not familiar with my company much anymore, so hopefully the loss will not be as difficult to adjust to. I cannot but apologise for no longer being around. But I thought that the loss would also be less difficult to adjust to if I were to say goodbye to you three individually, if not in person then through this very letter.
Firstly, Vincent; my boy Vincent! As I am writing this, you are not yet 16, but I am most certain that you will grow up to be a fine, young man. I want you to know that I am ever so proud of you, my son. You were my first child and my life changed the moment you were born. My life was no longer simply about myself and your mother; my entire life rotated around the existence of you, and later your sister. I wish that you find happiness, dear son. Whether it be found with a lovely, fair lady like I found with your mother, or whether it be with another’s son. Yes, Vincent, I am aware of your feelings for men; I noticed the very signs in my good, although brief, friend Oscar Wilde long before you were even born. But know this: I do not believe that loving another man is wrong. If it is who you are, then you be who you are. Do not feel pressurized into a partnership that you will never be happy in by the society around you. But you, son, are lucky because times are changing. Soon, you shall have the chance to be happy with whomever you may love. It will take a while, my son. But trust me when I say that opinions will change and you will be happy. And if you are happy, then I shall always be happy; whether I am alive or not. I named you after my favourite painter, Vincent Van Gogh, because he was an inspiration to me, just as you are. I truly hope you are more accepted in your world than Van Gogh was in his. I hope you get the most out of life and I hope that you make your mother proud just like you have made me proud.
Emily, my dear little Emily! I am sure that you have doubled in height since we last said goodbye! You are only 10, yet I know that you are the most intelligent person I have ever been acquainted with. Dear child, I hope very much that you succeed all aspirations in your life because I know you are capable of such feats. Although it must be a ghastly ordeal to have to continue your life without a father, I do not wish for it to hold you back in the slightest. I want you to be travelling around the world, perhaps fall in love with the perfect partner, or write for the New York Times over in the United States. Whatever you want to do in life, my dear, I wish for you to do it. No matter how outrageous it may be. Most importantly, I wish for you to take care of your mother and Vincent. I ask you to do so because your mother is dealing with a greater loss than you may possibly imagine, and Vincent is currently dealing with his own internal demons and needs somebody to be there for him. I want you to be there for the both of them, no matter what. That is simply all I ask, my child. I trust that you shall do so benevolently and without hesitation. I wish you the very best, dear child.
Finally, I address you, dear Rose; the one true love in my life. We have been through everything together and, no matter what, you have stuck by me which I shall be forever thankful for. When we first met, I never thought I would be lucky enough to ever even hold your hand, let alone spend the rest of my life with you. I cannot but apologise enough for not being able to let you spend the rest of your life with me. I know that you loved me so very much, as I loved you, but I must insist that you do not let me hold you back in your future endeavours. I highly insist that you find another person to love you. You deserve to be loved, perhaps more so than I could ever love you. I want you to seek happiness and fulfilment in your life. I want you to find somebody to help you raise our beloved children as best as you can. I want you to continue on with your life; leave me behind; move forward; but please do not ever forget. Do not forget the times we shared together; the most glorious moments of my life. I will miss you so very much, as I am certain you shall miss me. I will miss your hands; the tenderness as soft as the texture of a feather, the scent very much similar to the aroma of roses, which I always found rather fitting. I will miss how fitting our hands were entwined; I could hold your hands forever and never be unhappy. I will miss the opportunity to gaze into your rich blue eyes and stroke your honey butter hair. I will miss caressing your lips delicately with my own. I will miss the way you make me short of breath every time I am in your presence. And, most of all, I will miss your undisputed kindness to every person you meet and your unrequited patience.
I love you all and hope you go far in life. As you read this, I hope you can make one more promise to me; promise that you will not mourn my death for the rest of your lives. I cannot bear the thought that I have burdened you to lives of misery and grief. I would love for you all to carry on living, but do not forget.
With all my love,
Charlie