Yours Faithfully Part 2

Dear Diary,

I have not been up to much recently, surprisingly. I’ve just pondered around the TARDIS a fair number of times, thinking. Oh, diary, a Time Lord should never be left alone with their thoughts for too long, especially not one as old as me.  Amy and Rory are gone now, River is busy with her life at the moment and I don’t wish to disturb them in their lives right now. It’s not that I’m bored of them now; I just find it hurts to travel with people whether it is for a short amount of time or a long amount of time. I always feel better when I travel alone. Actually, you know what? That’s a lie. It always has been. I can’t travel alone because it means I spend even more time thinking. I cannot help but think about everything and anything happening around me. What can I say; it really IS the curse of the Time Lords.

There is one person who has been on my mind increasingly recently: Rose. I can’t stop thinking about her. I have said goodbye to her, more than once, but never willingly. It’s always been a thing that must happen, not that I want it to happen. I act like I don’t think about her anymore, that I’ve got over her, that she’s just another companion, just another person I’ve fallen in love with. But no, there is and always has been something different about her. I don’t know what, but I love it. I love everything about her. The way her hair falls across her face, the little dimples when she smiles, those beautiful big eyes of hers. Everything. I see no flaw in her. None whatsoever. Through my eyes, she is perfect. I feel like the only person who notices it, but I guess that really is just me. I have honestly never felt like this with anybody else before. And I still love her. I still miss her every second of the day that passes. I have tried distracting myself from thinking of her by going on adventures and getting into a whole lot of chaos, but nothing works. I can’t stop thinking about her.

Gosh, this is getting pretty personal. I have never told anybody this before, diary. Not even Rose. I still regret my choice in so many ways when I last saw her at Bad Wolf Bay. I’m such an idiot sometimes. I love Rose with both my hearts, but I had to decide between knowing she’ll live happily ever after with the man she loves or me being able to spend more time with her but putting her in danger the entire time. Of course I’m going to choose the former option, I’m The Doctor. That’s what I do. I save lives. It’s in the name. That’s why I call myself The Doctor. Plus it sounds quite cool.

I sometimes wish I could travel back to Pete’s World again. Just to say hello. Just to see how Rose and my human duplicate are getting along. What it’s like to take the slow path for once. Just to see that gorgeous smile one last time.

Oh, diary, I am sorry for pouring out all of my feelings to you at this hour, but I feel this is the only place I can. Nobody else could possibly understand what goes through my head at any given moment. It is utter chaos, dear diary. But, I think if I told somebody like you, perhaps it may ease slightly. I don’t know. I sort of hope so because I have nothing else to help me.

Yours faithfully,

The Doctor

Yours Faithfully Part 1

Dear Diary,

I have recently obtained you in a timeline of unlikely events. I would explain them to you, but I do not have that much time today. Perhaps I can tell you some other day. Anyway, I thought I’d introduce myself to you, diary. I’m no good with these sort of ‘in depth’ introductions as I usually just exclaim that I am The Doctor and flaunt about for a bit doing clever things while people watch. But here it goes:

My name is The Doctor. Well actually, it isn’t really The Doctor. ‘Doctor Who?’ they’ve been saying all of these years. I can never tell anybody my name. I say it’s lost in the Medusa Cascade, but really, I just can’t say it. I can’t even tell you, dear diary, what my ‘real’ name is. I’m not even sure if I remember what my real name is. I’m so old now. My memory is fading. Oh gosh, I’m sidetracking a bit, aren’t I?

Anyway, I’m 900 and something now, I think. Oh, who knows? I’m not sure myself. Okay, let’s forget that. Umm... what can I say that I’m sure of to you, diary? Ah, I know! The human race, I love the human race! It’s so... so... so HUMAN! Yes, there are good and bad humans, but although some can be the worst creatures I have ever come across; others can be the greatest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Some of whom have saved me in so many ways. I can never truly thank them. Mostly because many are long gone or have forgotten about me. I can’t say I blame them. I have so much guilt from destroying so many people’s lives. I wish I could apologise to them. Just once.

Oh gosh, I’m doing it again, aren’t I? I’m rambling. Sorry, diary, I do this often. I suppose you will probably get used to it. I cannot change it; it’s just the way I am.

Anyway, dear diary, I must leave you for now as the TARDIS phone is ringing!

Yours faithfully,

The Doctor

Busy busy busy

I was hoping I'd post on this blog frequently. But, as you may notice, that has not happened. I would say that I hope things to change, but I cannot know for certain!
So I thought I'd do a 'quick' blog post about what's been happening in my life lately.
I have been off ill a fair bit from college since I began at the beginning of September. Amazingly, though, in the past two weeks I was only off ill once and that was with a horrific cold. A horrific cold of which I am still suffering with! Also, because of this horrible cold, I've been having nosebleeds for the last few days which has been quite annoying, especially while I'm at college.
But, on a positive note, I am really enjoying college at the moment. It's taking over my entire life [not that I have much of one anyway] and it is a lot of work, but I really do love it and I definitely feel I picked the right college. I have already, in the two months being there, made some excellent and amazing friends. They're all awesome, seriously! I've already had some fantastic times with them and I hope to have even more in the near future!
Another thing that has occurred is a number of Youtube videos. Not as many as I'd have hoped, but something. I made a video with my friend Jess the other day. Also, for my collaboration channel Early Nerds, I made a video of me dancing to the Time Warp in my kitchen, a video of me showing you some cool stuff in my room, a video of me doing the Youtube Survey of 2011 and a video of me being really nerdy and talking about things people don't believe.
It is now gone half one in the morning so I shall leave this blog post here.
Farewell!

A Life With Rose - Part One

[This is not my story, I am only posting it as I really love it and want to share it]

Rose watched as hundreds upon thousands of Cybermen and Daleks flew past her. Pure Adrenalin and hope kept her clinging to the magna-clamp. Excitedly, she looked over at the Doctor and smiled. They were both there, together, trying to be sucked into the Void but staying here where they belonged. It was just them now. She had made her choice the day she had met him. She would do anything for him, and anything to say with him; even if it meant losing her family.

Below her there was a small shower of sparks and slowly the lever began to slip back. Instantly the smile dropped from their faces.

"Offline," said the computer. She strained forward trying to pull it back.

"Hold on!" The Doctor shouted to her.

Around her the sucking of the void began to lessen and she knew that she had to get the leaver back in place no matter what. As she reached forward further, she felt herself losing grip, she wasn't going to reach it and hold on at the same time! Just then a huge metal pepper-pot body came flying at her. In fright she clung back on to the clamp.

Somehow, the Dalek, which had its case open, had hooked on to the lever. Now, with something to hold onto it was trying with all its might to escape. The strength of the desperate Dalek moved the lever, and soon it was back in its right spot. But once again the suction of the Void was too strong.

"MER-CYY!" the Dalek cried, and then it was flung from the lever and into the Void.

Rose was too shocked to do anything but hold on. That could have been her… if she had tried for one more second that would have been her! That Dalek had just saved her life.

Fan Fiction

I am not usually one to read much fan fiction, but I thought I'd give it a go today.

I came across one titled 'A Life with Rose'. It's a story in which Rose doesn't travel to the parallel Universe because she is saved just in time, so the story is based around what happens afterwards. It intertwines the canon story of Series 3 and 4 but with Rose added in.

I have only read the first few chapters of it so far, but it is very well done, in my opinion.

The only issue I have with it is [because I'm a massive grammar Nazi] I couldn't help but notice incorrect spellings, use of grammar etc throughout the story.

So I am planning on 're-vamping' this story as I really do think it is so good already.

I'll post the 're-vamped' sections accordingly on here, but I'd just like to say first that I did not write any of the story, nor do I know personally the person who did. I just want to spread this fantastic story to a wider audience.

So expect the first few parts to follow shortly!

Dreams

I was thinking earlier about dreams. I often cannot remember my dreams even minutes after I wake up, yet I know that I did have a dream. The only dreams I seem to remember are the ones that are absolutely amazing.

So I thought I'd share my most favourite dream ever which I had on 6th June this year [the day after seeing Much Ado About Nothing starring David Tennant and Catherine Tate]:

I was back in London, soon after watching Much Ado About Nothing. My mum was there with me. We were walking down this small street near the theatre when David Tennant and someone who worked at the theatre walked passed us.
My mum said ‘David!’ because I had not been able to acquire an autograph earlier on and she wanted to see if she could get one then. He replied, rather quickly, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t.’ knowing what my mum was insisting, and put his hand up near his face to try and cover it. He seemed in a hurry to somewhere. He crossed the road soon after. He began walking in the opposite direction, except on the other side of the road this time. This gave him a chance to look directly at us.
I was utterly heartbroken. I tried not to show it but I began to well up. He glanced over and saw me with tears forming in my eyes. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked down at the ground. I knew that he’d realised that he’d upset me. He started to walk over to me but changed his mind before reaching half way across the road. I was curious as to why he did this.
He continued walking in the direction he had been heading before. He quickly hopped into this little shop. My mum said to me that there was no point us standing around and requested that we leave. I looked up to her and said ‘No, mum. Just wait a few more minutes.’
And, a few minutes later, David came back out of the shop with something in his hand in a brown bag. He came directly over to me with a sneaky smirk on his face. When he reached me he gave me a massive hug and said ‘I’m sorry for earlier. I don’t know what I was thinking.’ He handed me the bag ‘Here. You can have this. You deserve it.’ as he took the Much Ado About Nothing programme out of my hand and signed it for me.

Of course there are a variety of flaws in this dream, mainly the one being I never found out what was in the brown bag. But it's still my favourite dream. Why? Because I can actually imagine David Tennant doing something like this. It's a subtle dream, but it means a lot to me.

Hello, world!

So this is my very first 'proper' blog post ever!

And I have absolutely no idea what to say.

I was planning a very nice long blog post to 'briefly' explain myself and my life, but half of it didn't save so I thought I'd slowly post them in installments, I hope you don't mind!

I thought I'd tell you some of my interests in this post, enjoy!

My favourite television series is Doctor Who. Yes, I sound like a right nerd, do I not? Well, Doctor Who means absolutely everything to me because it basically saved my life. Don't believe me? Well I thought so. So here is my story behind Doctor Who:

Back in 2009, my life was going fairly okay. My family was close, why dad still lived at home during the week because he didn’t work far away, my brother still had his girlfriend and wasn’t suffering from depression and I had a group of friends that I enjoyed hanging around with. Also, my health was the best it had been since Christmas 2004 where my whole immune system pretty much became corrupted because of a virus and I was ill on and off for years [and still am].
Then in July 2009, my younger brother, my parents and I went on holiday to Scotland for 10 days to visit family and go to the Highlands. Remember, this was when there was that whole business with the possible Swine Flu epidemic. In the last few days of the holiday, my dad began to feel really ill [which, we found out later, caused him to have an illness that he still has to take tablets for to this day]. On the last day, my brother began to fell unwell too so when we were driving back from Scotland we kept having to stop along the way at various Services.
A day or two after coming back, I began to feel really ill as well. And when I say really ill I mean that I couldn’t go out for too and I couldn’t sit still and I had trouble sleeping. Some nights I couldn’t sleep until 4 or 5am so I would just sit on the computer and play games to keep me entertained.
I began to feel really isolated because my brothers were still going out with their friends and everything, my dad had a new job which meant he worked away during the week and my mum was working at a new job so she was out for most of the day too, so I had no one. I didn’t know what to do with my self. I honestly began to feel suicidal. No one was inviting me out to do anything, everyone had a friend they could go round to who lived near them. I had no one. I felt extremely lonely.
So, you know what I started to do? I started to watch Doctor Who. I had began watching it before Scotland but I felt that it was something new that could distract me from the real world. The episodes were shown daily at 7pm on BBC Three. I became so dependent on watching those episodes every day that my whole day revolved around it. I became so eager to watch more that one day, a day when it wasn’t being shown and I felt helpless with doing anything else, so I went on Youtube and discovered that a wonderful person whose Youtube account was called ‘Helena012’ had uploaded every single Doctor Who episode since 2005. I began to watch each series. I was watching one series every day. I became so much happier because Doctor Who taught me that life goes though some really bad times but on the other side of those bad times are much better times.
Of course I cried at some episodes, I perhaps cried even more because I was holding back my tears of how I really felt from everyone else. But at the same time, gave me such a big smile on my face. After I had watched every single episode you know what I did? I watched them again. I must have watched them all about 5 or 6 times before I started to watch other things such as Torchwood [and later on, The Sarah Jane Adventures]. I began to enjoy my life even if it wasn’t in the real world. I felt all the emotions that the characters did and I finally had people that I could relate to in some way.
Ever since Summer 2009, I have loved Doctor Who with every single cell in my body. It has helped me make so many discoveries about the world around me and myself. It has allowed me to make friends with completely new people of whom I treasure and feel so privileged to even know them. Doctor Who has made me who I am today. And for that, it will ALWAYS be my favourite programme because it saved my life.

And the whole of the above is the reason why I hate it when people say that it’s ‘just a programme’ because, to me, it isn’t. It’s my whole world and I love it so much.

Are you happy now? I have only ever told this to my Tumblr followers before. I hope you feel a little privileged.

Something else you should know about me, I am incredibly open on the internet. It is my platform to say what I think and feel without being judged. That is why I love the internet and I spend most of my time on it.

I am a massive nerd. Seriously, the definition of a nerd is the definition of me.

Definition of nerd: a foolish or contemptible person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious.

Umm… of course, I absolutely adore Doctor Who with all of my heart. There is nothing more important to me in the entire Universe. Apart from David Tennant. He is basically the love of my life yet he doesn’t even know I exist, and that breaks my heart.

My current ‘crush’ is Liam Dryden. Again, somebody who doesn’t even know I exist. You’ll see throughout my blog and posts that I always fall most for the people who don’t know that I exist. It’s so irritating for me, but I really cannot help it.

I am the kind of person who will stand up for anybody whom I think is right. I always argue my opinion and sometimes I may shove it down people’s throats, but I only do that if they’re not even attempting to pay attention.

You may see me posting a few arrogant posts from time to time. I really cannot help that. I have the most horrific mood swings at the moment. It’s really beginning to irritate me and the most irritating thing is that my parents won’t believe me when I tell them. They just say that I’m ‘being difficult’. I get along with my parents incredibly well, at times. Other times, I can’t even stand to be in the same room as them. Yet another way my frustrating mind works.

I love pretty much all genres of movies apart from horror. I’ve never had an interest in horror movies. I just find them quite dull. Mainly because they usually have awful storylines and no interesting subtext or morals. The exception for this, though, is Fright Night. I watched it the day it came out and I found it outstanding. It wasn't just because David Tennant was in it [although that always helps] it was very well done and wasn't cheesy yet didn't lack a sufficient storyline.

I absolutely adore romantic movies. Perhaps because I like living my romantic side through other people’s relationships because I never seem to be able to forge my own.

I sometimes go on for a long time about the most pointless of stuff, such as now.

I sometimes cannot stand myself and the way I look. But that’s because of my awful self-esteem. Thank you, bullies from my childhood. But, I suppose, I’ve learnt how not to act and I feel it’s made me a much better person.

I am completely for equal rights for LGBTs and I will always fight for them because there is nothing wrong with a person’s sexuality and I don’t judge people because of it.

I don’t really have much of a social life at times. I sometimes go through weeks where I am out with my friends almost every day. Other days, I just want to sit at home and talk to my online friends because some of them actually mean more to me than my ‘IRL friends’. I classify my friends online as normal friends and don’t just call them ‘friends from the internet’. For example, if I am talking to somebody about what one of my friends online had said, I will still say ‘Oh, the other day, my friend said…’ etc.

If you were to ever meet me in person, you will see how incredibly awkward and shy I can be. I don’t mean to be and I’m actually trying to build up my confidence by doing acting at college. Yet, when I’m around my friends, I cannot shut up. It’s really peculiar.

I’m not a ‘girly girl’. I like wearing skinny jeans, even in the summer. I will occasionally wear shorts but that is only if I can be bothered to shave my legs. Which isn’t that often. I like wearing t-shirts or shirts. I usually wear more than one pair of socks because I have poor circulation therefore I get cold feet, even in the middle of summer.

So yeah. That’s me. I apologise for it being so long. I guess I was just venting a bit there, if I’m honest. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask me them whenever you wish. I am always happy to reply to any questions!